Page 23 of Returning for His Unknown Son

Their one night together swirled in front of his eyes. Was that what she meant? Had she come to regret it in the years that followed?

Jayden shouted for them as the staff started serving lunch.

The last thing Christian wanted was to join Ben and Priya’s parents. He suddenly wanted to burrow deep into the very hole he’d done everything in his power to crawl out from. That he’d once been such a party animal was unfathomable to him now.

But he recognized the need for the ritual, the place everyone had in Jayden’s life. It was on him to fit into the existing landscape, not fragment it to suit himself. Ben needed him, too, even though the old goat would die before admitting it.

For now, he could only tolerate the presence of Jayden and Priya—that had become clear in two minutes. With Jayden, there was nothing but the freedom of being himself. Of being the best man he could be today, without worrying about expectations. It was, he was glad to discover, easy to love his son, easy to be himself with him.

And with Priya... It was a thorny knot of need and comfort and familiarity that he didn’t have the energy to untangle right now. But despite the knots, there was a constant hum of desire between them, an awareness as potent as his own breath.

He made to move when Priya stopped him with her hand on his elbow.

“Just one more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Come back to the main house. Sleep in the master bedroom.”

His head jerked up, every suppressed instinct in him reacting to that invitation like a hungry dog offered morsels of meat. “I told you I’m not throwing you out of your own bedroom.”

“No, I’m not planning on leaving.” She blushed when he narrowed his gaze. “I’m saying you should sleep in there, too. I spent all day yesterday reading up on your...condition.”

“I see,” Christian said, not wanting to have this conversation of all things. With her.

Which was messed up and unfair because she was the one dealing with the consequences of him pushing his way back into her life, the one who’d been acting like an adult from the very first moment. But the last thing he wanted was for her to see him as some kind of patient. As a feeble man she had to look after and care for.

“I couldn’t concentrate at the board meeting. I couldn’t... I kept wanting to call you just to see your face. To know that you were really here.”

“I know it’s hard for you to keep the knowledge that I’m back a secret for now. I’m sorry.”

“No. I mean, yes, it’s hard. But I like it. I like the idea of having you all to ourselves for now.” Her smile wavered as she hurried on. “I got so restless thinking of you here alone and I realized I should’ve taken the day off, been here with you.”

“No, I needed the space,” he burst out before he could temper his tone.

“Of course, you’re right,” she said quickly, not a hint of hurt in her eyes. “Anyway... I did a lot of research into what this must be like for you. Living alone and having that long dissociative episode, then your memories hitting you all of a sudden...”

“What about it?” Christian demanded, all too aware of the medical terms for his condition. And tired of names that did nothing to explain what the hell had happened inside his head. Or if it could even happen again. That was his biggest nightmare, one he faced every minute of every day.

“Everything I read said you...might need physical comfort, Christian. You need touch, the warmth of another human being. In whatever form that feels good and safe to you. I’m...” There was that Priya he’d once known so well—wary and blushing and all the good things of the world rolled into one cute little package. “—offering it to you. I want you to sleep next to me. Hold me, if you need to.”

“I didn’t realize you’d taken up nursing, too,” he said in a low whisper, unable to keep the bitterness out of his words. Ashamed of himself for everything he was feeling and everything he couldn’t control. “Or are you simply feeling sorry for me?”

She regarded him with those big eyes, as if he was a child like Jayden. Patiently waiting for him to get over his tantrum. “You must be really confused if you think I feel sorry for you after everything I demanded the other night.”

Something in her tone assuaged the raw parts of him that were still chafing. At what, he had no idea.

“Why do you assume that it’s only for you anyway? Consider me for a second. I’ve been lonely, too. You know what the hardest part of it all was for me, of being in the limelight all of a sudden, of being a single mom, of being the one who had to hold it all together? That there was no one to touch me at the end of the day. No one to hold me. No one to...” She swallowed and looked away. “It’s not just sex that I missed, it’s companionship. A friend’s touch. A comforting hug. A reassuring palm on my back. It’s such an instinctive need... I think it’s why I can’t seem to be able to keep my hands to myself around you.”

He knew it wasn’t easy for her to admit that to him. To bare her soul to a man who was little more than a stranger to her. And yet, he was like a wounded beast, striking if she dared to get close. “And if having sex with you made me feel better, would you offer that, too?”

“If that’s what you need, happily,” she said, not even batting an eyelid. Not at his blunt language, nor at the idea. “As we have clearly demonstrated with our little experiment, I wouldn’t even have to call it my conjugal responsibility. No closing my eyes and thinking of England or whatever the saying is.”

He choked with laughter. Damn but the woman was tying him up in knots.

Her brown gaze glittered with challenge and humor and it terrified him how much he...liked her like this. How much he didn’t want to hurt her. How much he wanted to be the version of Christian she deserved.

“You wouldn’t have hesitated if I was in the same position. No, in fact, if I look through our tangled past, you did do the same for me.”

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