Page 21 of Heat & Deceit
By the time I’m done making the two lattes, Javier has gone back to the office. Randal shoots me a grateful smile but keeps his distance. I want to ask what else Javier might’ve said to him. That want is almost obsessive, and I can’t let it win.
Was he watching us on the camera? Watching me? That should bother me, right? I glance at the camera in the corner, frowning at it before throwing myself into work. There’s a steady flow of customers and another short rush after lunch, distracting me from the alpha in the office and the way my skin prickles with awareness, almost like I can sense when he watches me on the camera feed. It’s the best sort of day, one when there isn’t much time for thinking.
Thinking leads to memories, and memories lead to things I’d rather not feel.
As the day wears on, I begin to regret what I said to Javier. I was pretty direct with him and then hid like a coward behind the sound of the steam wand to keep from hearing whatever else he had to say. It wasn’t wrong of him to be mad about the spank. For all he knows, Randal could be some creepy coworker who won’t stop trying to get in my pants. Randal isn’t that person, though. He’s nice and the only coworker I really like.
The others are fine, but they’re nothing like Randal. He isn’t afraid to call a spade a spade. I think that’s why I like him. He sees through all the bullshit.
“I’m going to grab some napkins and sleeves for the to-go cups. Can you think of anything else we need?”
Randal glances up from his phone and rests his arm on the top of the pastry safe. “Is it too soon to ask for the growly alpha daddy to come back?”
“You’re going to get in trouble,” I tell him with a shake of my head. At least he’s not pissed at me. I don’t want to be a bad coworker, but he really can’t touch me like that. The past waiting to haunt me doesn’t care that he’s messing around. It’ll seize any opportunity to pull me beneath the surface and drown me in everything I wish had never happened.
“Fine. Can you grab me some receipt paper? The register is almost out.”
“Sure thing.” I ease the supply room door open, scanning the back for any sign of Javier and finding none. I practically race across the floor to grab the things I need but curse when I remember Tabitha kept the receipt paper in the office.
Javier hasn’t come out again, and it’s almost two in the afternoon. He must be hungry. Maybe luck will be on my side, and he’ll have gone out the back to go get some food. With dread weighing my every step, I walk toward the office.
I knock lightly, and when he doesn’t answer, I slowly open the door. The office is empty. My shoulders sag with relief, and I rush to the desk, opening the bottom drawer and reaching for a roll of receipt paper. The plastic bag tips over and the coffee sleeves scatter across the floor.
“Crap.” I set the napkins and rolls of paper on top of the desk and drop to my knees to clean up the mess. Spotting a few that slipped all the way under the desk, I drop to my hands and reach for them, huffing a little when I have to wiggle farther under the desk to get to them.
A throat clears, and I squeal, jerking up and hitting my head on the metal part of the desk drawer.
“Ow,” I whine, collapsing to the ground and pressing my hands to the back of my skull to try and soothe the sharp shot of throbbing pain.
“Fuck. Are you okay?” Big hands wrap around my hips, the fingers of said hands gripping me tightly and hauling me out from under the desk like it’s no big deal. Javier’s rich and earthy scent invades my senses. Unlike when Randal spanked me, the past is silent at Javier’s touch. “Carmine?”
Nova. My name is Nova.
“I’m fine.” I pull out of his hold a little too forcefully and knock the side of my head against the desk. Growling under my breath, I scowl at Javier. “I’m fine.”
“Why are you mad at me? Should I have spanked you instead?”
Ignoring that haughty comment, I gesture toward him. “Why did you grab me like that?”
“I was trying to help. You hit your head pretty hard.” He gives me a good once-over and holds up two fingers. “How many?”
My eyes roll before I can stop them. A breathtaking smile cuts across his face. He’s so not attractive.Yeah, keep telling yourself that.Maybe eventually, you’ll believe the lie.
“I dropped the sleeves when I came to grab the receipt paper.” I show him the bag and concentrate on being Carmine. Carmine is quiet. Carmine doesn’t flirt with her boss. Carmine doesn’t need an alpha, and frankly, neither does Nova.
Nova has heat suppressants and an uncanny ability to talk about herself in the third person.
“I see.” Javier’s on his knees in front of me, resting hands with ripped muscles on powerful thighs. He’s definitely on steroids. There’s no other explanation for how strong those hands look. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
I’m being weird. Sucking in a breath, I force myself to stand. Javier follows me up. I ignore how close we are and turn to grab the rest of the supplies. The hairs on the nape of my neck rise as his gaze focuses on me. Is he looking at my ass? He better not be looking at my ass. I quickly turn around, and his eyes jump up to my face.
Busted.
He steps toward me, and I move back on instinct, shrinking away from his proximity. Javier stops and studies my face. “Are you okay?” he asks again, only this time, the question carries more weight.
Nova, you’re an open book. Pull it together. Stop letting him get to you. You’re supposed to be keeping your head down, not verbally sparring with your stupidlynothot boss.
The best thing that’s come from getting clean is finding traces of myself throughout the day. The way I’ve been responding to Javier today is one-hundred-percent Nova before all the drugs and darkness. The worst thing that’s come from assuming an identity is having to hide those pieces of me that I’m beginning to rediscover. It’s almost impossible to keep the snark and sarcasm at bay.
