Page 54 of Too Safe

This is what’s been driving me insane. This palpable tension between us. There’s no way it’s one-sided; hehasto feel this, too. It’s like I’m his sole focus when we’re alone—a single star pinpricking the midnight sky.

It’s when we’re with the other guys—burning in the glow of Decker’s impossible sun, fighting the gravitational pull of Locke and Kendrick—that I’m invisible.

“Hot.” He captures my mouth, pressing a searing kiss to my lips. Then he pulls back for one second, adding, “So fucking hot,” and claims my mouth again while his fingers caress up my arm and tangle in my hair.

He pulls me closer, wrapping me up in a tight embrace and lifting me off the floor.

I’m completely suspended as Kylian hauls me against the wall and presses his body against mine from knee to clavicle. He trails hot kisses along my jaw, sending shivers coursing through me, then licks a path up my neck.

“Fuck, baby. You taste just as good as you look.” His words are muffled as he continues to lick and nip the delicate skin along my neck. “There’s no fucking question about how I feel about you, Jo. Hot. Hot. Hot.” He peppers kisses all over as he makes his declaration, then sucks the delicate flesh of my neck into his mouth.

My hands find purchase against his stomach, fingertips trailing against the taut muscles beneath his T-shirt.

“But this morning—” I protest.

He pulls back then, peering at me through his glasses.

“Last night you came to me in a panic, did you not?”

My face flushes with the call-out, and I drop my gaze to avoid his scrutiny.

“Hey…” He tilts my chin up, then cups one cheek with the same hand. “I’m not judging you. I’m fucking glad you came to me rather than unravel at the party. But last night, you weren’t okay. And I wasn’t sure how you’d feel in the morning. I wasn’t about to be the asshole rubbing my dick on you while you were in a vulnerable position.”

My chest squeezes at that admission. Now that he puts it like that…

“But at breakfast…”

Kylian watches me for a moment, frowning, as if he’s trying to make sense of the implication. I can practically see the wheels turning in his head.

Eventually, he shakes his head. “I don’t remember saying or doing anything at breakfast.”

“Exactly!” I cry, dropping my head back against the wall.

He’s still hovering close, scanning my face like I’m a puzzle he’s desperate to solve.

“Black and white, Jo. Explain it to me from your perspective.”

I peer up at him, trying not to focus on the way his Adam’s apple dips with each swallow or how my hands sink into his stomach with each inhalation.

“You barely acknowledged me during breakfast. Decker pulled his typical big dick energy act, and you just… you didn’t…”

I trail off, annoyed with myself for my inability to articulate my frustration. Dropping my shoulders, I glance at the door, then over at my bed. My former bed, I guess. Shit. What am I going to tell Sam when he gets home and finds that I’ve effectively moved out? I don’t want to hurt him—I can’t. Maybe he’ll believe me if I say I got a place closer to campus. At least he’ll get his bed back.

“Jo.” Kylian raises his other hand to cup my face, gently turning my head until I’m looking at him again.“Decker is who he is. There’s nothing I can do or say to change that. And maybe I misread you, but you don’t seem like the type who wants to be saved.”

I swallow thickly. Dammit, he’s not wrong.

“Here’s what I was focused on when we sat down for breakfast: First, I was worried about how the guys would react. Because I’m never late. You needed sleep, though,” he says, sincerity coating his every word, “so I made a choice, and I was prepared to deal with the consequences.”

He places a soft kiss on my lips.

“Then I was focused on Misty’s updates. I was also anxious to go over the changes based on week-one stats and rankings with the guys. We usually spend a few hours debriefing on Sunday mornings, and my mind can’t help but run the numbers on a loop until I share them with the guys. Once Nicky admitted he was in rough shape, though, my focus was on him. He needs rest to stay well, but I knew he’d try and power through and play down the pain if we started to talk football.”

Locke. He really did look worse for wear this morning. I hope he’s resting and taking care of himself.

“I went into that breakfast thinking you and I were in sync. I had already agreed to help you. In my mind, that was settled. I didn’t even think to mention it to anyone until you brought it up to Decker. Which wasn’t necessary, by the way. We don’t need his permission.”

I quirk one brow haughtily. “Don’t we?”