Page 93 of Too Safe

What I do know is that this is my shot.

I could start over.Again.

I’m under no delusion that they couldn’t find me. But it’s possible that if I slip away quickly and quietly, Decker will decide I’m not worth chasing.

The risk might be worth it to get out from under his thumb. I could go deeper south. Or maybe toward the coast. I’ve never actually seen the ocean. There’s at least two grand in cash still in Decker’s wallet. The other guys don’t even know we’re gone.

The other guys.

That thought is what gives me pause. The men who might be hurt by my actions if I up and disappear without a trace.

They’re like magnets, each holding me in place with a force I can’t see or name.

Locke. He was so damn hopeful when he wrapped his arms around me earlier. And practically giddy when we made plans for later this week. Over the last few days, I’ve become more and more willing to let go of the grudge I’ve been holding. I just haven’t had the chance to talk to him yet.

Then there’s Kylian. I know he’ll miss me if I’m not at breakfast in the morning. Will he come looking for me when I don’t show up? Or will Decker tell him what happened first?

There would be no love lost from Kendrick. Hell, he’d probably help me get out and stay away if given the chance. The way he got up in my face during the game tonight… I physically shudder at the memory of his wrath.

Finally, the man himself. Decker Fucking Crusade. Thorn in my side. Dominating control freak. Captor extraordinaire. A week ago, I would have been chomping at the bit to get away from the almighty asshole.

Now? I don’t know what’s happening between us or how I’m supposed to feel.

He doesn’t treat me like I’m the bane of his existence anymore. On the contrary. More than once in the last several days, the tension between us has sparked, trapping us in genuinely puzzling moments together.

Like tonight.

He let me help him. He let meseehim. He trusted me to get him here, and he’s trusting me to keep his secret safe.

Not that he had much choice in the matter.

But this experience—just like last weekend at the hotel or yesterday in the lake—is more significant than either of us expected it to be. We keep crashing together, the two of us. Finding ourselves in these intense, intimate micro moments. What should be blips in time. Except when I consider them together, they add up to so much more.

I don’t know what’s going on between Decker and me.

Just like I don’t know how to classify my feelings for Locke or Kylian.

I’m playing a game I’ve never played before. If they ask me to choose, I don’t know what’ll become of me. I’m too attached. Too into both Kylian and Locke. Hell, maybe all three of them. And now, instead of the desperate nagging sensation urging me to get as far away from them all as possible, I’m worriedtheymight leaveme.

So many unknowns. More questions than answers.

What I do know is I won’t get another opportunity like this. This is my chance to run. A narrow window that’s been left open long enough for me to potentially make a clean break.

And yet I don’t feel compelled to do it. I should run. But I don’t want to. I should seize this moment. But I can’t.

All I want is to make sure Decker is okay. That he gets home safe. That he gets the rest and care he needs so he can recover and get back on the field with his team.

So here I’ll sit. Waiting for him. Worrying about him. Inhaling the heady combination of amber and sea salt that clings to the hoodie he let me borrow. Ready to help in any way I can once we know what we’re dealing with.

When it’s all said and done, I will get behind the wheel of his G-Wagon and drive the three hours back to Lake Chapel, get him tucked in, and wake up tomorrow in the Crusade Mansion.

Chapter 39

Decker

Shedidn’trun.

Josephine didn’t argue or make things harder than necessary when I explained all the extra hoops we had to jump through to get to a hospital where I wouldn’t be recognized.

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