Page 65 of Say I'm Yours, Firecracker

“Weeks?” I screeched. I couldn’t take care of a baby and bleed for weeks!

“Do you want me to get the doctor?” Bellamy asked, still looking at baby Atlas.

“No, it’s ok. I’ve got this.” Finn replied, “We can deal with some blood, do you want to get up and use the bathroom?”

I looked up as he stood, ready to help me to the bathroom. I was exhausted, I didn’t think I could hold myself up, much less remove the mesh underwear diaper thing going on down there. “Bellamy, can you help me?”

Finn’s face fell, only for a moment before Bell put Atlas in his arms and helped me hobble towards the bathroom. She helped me get out of the adult diaper and held me up while I relieved my bladder.

It burned and I yelped in surprise. Finn knocked on the door. “Everything alright in there?”

“You just pushed a healthy baby boy out of your body. Things are going to hurt.” Bell said, reading my face with precision. I felt my face flush, my hormones were going haywire and I couldn’t think straight.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” She helped me off the toilet and into a new mesh diaper contraption with a giant ‘padsicle’, as the nurses had called it. Apparently it helped with swelling, but all I cared about was that it felt amazing on my angry, swollen nethers.

“You know, this is quite the fashion statement.” She said, making sure the padding was where it needed to be.

I laughed, causing my insides to quiver and my body to hurt. But it felt good, it felt like all the happy endorphins crowded around my heart and squeezed like the best hug in the world.

She helped me to the bed and let me get settled just in time for the pediatrician to come in and explain all the pros and cons of circumcision.

Finn stood there the whole time, rubbing Atlas’s back and rocking gently back and forth on his feet. My heart damn near fell out of my chest watching him murmur sweet things to him.

“You know, I think I’ll tell everyone to go home for the evening.” Bellamy whispered before glancing over her shoulder, patting my hand. “You two enjoy your moment.” She said as she walked out the door.

Finn and I were left in silence. Neither one of us spoke, unwilling or afraid to be the one to start. Tears gathered and fell from my eyes as I watched the two of them. Finn, such a large man compared to our tiny baby in his arms, rocking and murmuring to him.

It was enough to split my heart in two.

Finn looked my way quickly, before turning back and looking closer.

“Don’t cry.” He said, slowly moving in my direction. Placing Atlas in one of his arms so he could wipe away the tears staining my cheeks.

I laughed, an ugly choking noise came out instead. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for having feelings, Firecracker.”

“No, I’m sorry for not giving us a chance sooner.”

His dark eyes widened and a lock of his wavy hair fell into his face, “We’re here now, baby.”

“I know…” I said.

Finn shook his head, “Don’t let that sour this moment.”

“I know I hurt you Finn.” I started, “And I meant to at the time. I’m sorry for all the lost time we could have had.”

“We’ll have a lot of time to make up for it.” He said leaning down to kiss me. Our lips connected and sparks lit up my insides like Christmas lights.

The next morning Bellamy and Xavier came by first, he had a cake tin in his hands, and my mouth instantly started to salivate. I hoped it was his orange soda pound cake. My favorite of his baking talents. He always made it for my birthday, and holidays, so I crossed my fingers that it was all for me.

Atlas was bundled up in his bassinet between Finn and I. With a fresh diaper and set of clothes. Xavier cried, like I knew he would, and Bellamy gave me a devilish smirk.

“He is absolutely precious.” Xavier proclaimed, as if the room wasn’t a metal box that echoed his voice times ten.

Atlas cried, a soft little sound that had all of our attention.

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