Page 1 of Never Really Over

Prologue

Colt

I HopeYou’re Happy Now

“Don’t askthat of me, Colt. You know it’s not fair and it’s kind of shitty of you to even ask in the first place.”

With frustration, I look away from my person. The one who I thought would be my person until I take my last breath. I don’t remember a time where Layla Belk wasn’t in my life in some capacity. To imagine even going a day without her is impossible.

“How, exactly, is that not fair, Layla? I thought… well, I guess it doesn’t matter what I thought anymore, does it?”

“I’m twenty-two years old. Don’t you think I have bigger plans than…” she trails off, letting her silence speak volumes as she looks around my tiny farmhouse and out the window to where my old truck is sitting. I don’t have much, but it’s mine. At one point, I was enough for her. Turns out she’d been covering up the fact that she was looking for something I couldn’t give her.

“If you want bigger, there’s no way I can be your guy. I’m not going to change. You’re not going to change. So I guess this is it.”

“One minute ago, you were begging me to stay.”

“How’s it feel to have someone change so quickly?” I counter.

The sting I hoped she’d feel hits right where it counts. Her answering gasp and tears springing to her eyes tells me that I hit my mark. Good. Maybe she needs to feel a little bit of the hurt. I’m sure as hell hurting.

Layla and I met when we were in pre-school. Along with everyone else in our small town of Hollow Grove, Iowa, who were born within a year of us. Our graduating class consisted of a total of fifty-four kids. Twenty-five boys and twenty-nine girls. Yes, I still remember the numbers. I still remember every single person I graduated with and keep in contact with them. It was the largest graduating class our high school had seen since it opened its doors. Layla and I were friends, but the summer before our sophomore year things shifted and we became more.

The golden couple. That’s what people called us. I was the quarterback. She was the only one who I could hear in the stands. Homecoming King and Queen. Our relationship was one romance authors write stories about. At least, that’s what Layla always said. When she wasn’t riding four-wheelers with our friends and me, fishing, shopping with her friends, or just hanging out in my parents’ old red barn with me, she was reading romance novels. Sometimes she was reading while doing those things. So when she compared our love to the relationships she reads about, I figured I was doing something right.

Another thing I was wrong about.

“This isn’t what I want, Colt. How could you not see that?”

“Let’s see. Could it be because since I’ve known you, all you talked about was how much you loved living in Hollow Grove?”

“That’s before…”

Once again, she stops herself from finishing her sentence. Probably for the best. I know what she was about to say anyway. It was before she realized there was more out there in the world. One trip to Chicago for work and her entire personality changed. She left Hollow Grove the Layla I knew and loved, and returned cold, distant, and… well, changed.

Now, I’m all for change, but when it’s a complete one-eighty of the person I know? That’s a little hard to accept.

“Before you realized that you were too good for the Grove? Oh, I’m sorry. That’s not the words you used.” I pretend to think while she glares at me then in an a-ha moment, I declare, “Oh! I remember now. It’s before you realized how much more was out there in the world and you were wasting your life by staying here.”

After a few moments of silence, she straightens her shoulders and licks her lips. It’s her defense mode kicking in, just like mine is. I can put on a good show while she’s here because I’m stubborn and can be an asshole and guess what? I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of seeing my heartache firsthand even though this really fucking hurts.

“You know what? That’s right. Iamtoo good for this shithole of a town. I’m too good to be stuck in this place that never changes and doesn’t even have taxi service or food delivery. We don’t have a grocery store that even sells organic produce, Colt! Why on earth would I want to stay here? I have no reasons. Not. One,” she punctuates, giving me a little smirk because she thinks she’s being clever.

Why indeed. Not for me, obviously. She made that clear. Not for her mother, either, who raised her all by herself.

“Then I guess this is goodbye.” But I already knew this before I even opened my mouth to ask her to reconsider. I wasn’t a factor in her deciding to move. And maybe that’s okay. Because if she stays, she won’t be happy and she’ll make my life miserable after she begins to resent me. Besides, I’m a mature enough man to realize that she’s not necessarily choosing to leave me. She’s choosing to consider herself and her own desires. As upset as I am that our relationship is ending, I’m happy that it’s ending now rather than ten years from now when we’re married with children and she’s discovered that she’s not cut out for this life.

With tear-filled eyes, she looks down at her shoes, sniffs, and shakes her head before meeting my eyes. “You know, you could move, too. Why do I have to be the one to give up my dreams?”

“I didn’t say you did have to give up your dreams,” I remind Layla gently. She’s not wrong. I could move to Chicago with her so our relationship wouldn’t end. But then I would be the one who’s unhappy. “It’s six of one, half a dozen of the other. It’s a no-win situation, Lay. It doesn’t matter who sacrifices their dreams, one of us is going to have to if we decide to stay together and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”

“You asked me to stay. That’s me giving up my dreams,” she mumbles as if she didn’t hear a word I just said.

“Of course I did. Did you really think I would just lay down and let you go without putting up a fight?”

Her answering shrug tells me that’s exactly what she was expecting. That makes me feel all sorts of things, none of them good. Did she really think I wouldn’t care? Is that how she feels? She doesn’t care enough to put up a fight for me, either? I’ve never been so confused or conflicted in my life. None of this makes sense.

What she isn’t realizing is her move to Chicago came out of the blue for me. I didn’t know she wasn’t happy here until… well, until she told me. “Will you answer a question for me and not lie?” She nods and wipes away the tears that have coated her cheeks. “Since when was Chicago your dream? The last I knew, your dreamwasliving here. You were happy and didn’t turn your nose up at those of us who love living the quiet life.” Sighing, I pull my ball cap off my head and run my hands through my hair, replacing the cap and curving the bill nice and tight, pulling it down low on my forehead. “Layla. I’m still the same person that you once loved. I still love who you are, but you’ve changed. You know I don’t care about having food delivered or using a taxi. I don’t need anything more than this.” I splay my hands out, showing off my house. Yes, it’s small, but it’s completely, one hundred percent mine. Paid for completely. Built by my own two hands. I’ll build something larger one day, but for now, it’s enough for me.

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