Page 23 of Life After

“Why would you even think to ask?” Jen smiled as she eyed Suzanne. “And don’t apologise. It’s nice to be back here.”

“We can go somewhere else if you’d rather do that.” Suzanne stopped them on the sand and turned to Jen. “I don’t want to upset you, Jen.”

“You know what, I actually feel pretty relaxed here.” Jen leaned in and kissed Suzanne. “I’m turning it into a different experience. It doesn’t have to be sad forever, right?”

Oh, Jen. Suzanne brought a hand to Jen’s cheek and cupped it. “You’re right.”

Jen angled her head towards a bench close to the steps leading away from the sand. “Sit with me for a few?”

“I’d love to.” Suzanne guided Jen across the sand and took the steep steps slowly. Once they were situated next to one another, subconsciously shifting closer, Suzanne turned to Jen. “I admire your strength, by the way.”

“My strength?” Jen asked, her brows lifted. “Oh, I’m not strong at all. Trust me. This—what you see now—took a lot of work.A lot.”

“I don’t doubt that, but youdidwork on it and look at the outcome.” Suzanne could only comment on what she knew about Jen so far. She liked everything she saw, in all honesty. “You don’t shy away from anything. You’re an open book, and that’s one of the most important qualities inanyoneto me.”

Jen smiled weakly as she cast her gaze on her lap. “I just want you to see me for who I am, that’s all. Ruby always told me how important it was to be myself, and it’s something I try to live by each day. And if that makes all of this a failure down the line, then so be it. I just…can’t be anything other than myself.”

“A failure?” Suzanne’s brows drew together.

“I’m well aware that to the outside world, you and I couldn’t be any more different. Class, intelligence, personality. We’re not compatible on paper, I’d guess.” Suzanne opened her mouth to respond, but Jen held up a hand. “But inside, it feels like we’re compatible. I don’t know how that happened or why we met when we did, but I need to see where this goes. You’re the first person in a very long time to give me the time of day, Suzanne. Ihaveto pursue this, even if I know where it ultimately leads.”

“I don’t see it leading anywhere negative, Jen. I’ve adored spending my time with you lately, and I meant it when I said I want to see more of you. Like you, I also need to see where this goes.”

“Perfect.” Jen stole a kiss before she looked out at the receding tide. “All of you is perfect so far.”

Suzanne chuckled, wishing she could be considered perfect. “Tell me more about your friendship with Ruby.”

“God, I wouldn’t even know where to begin.” The smile Jen wore made Suzanne’s heart sing. It wasn’t often that she beamed from ear to ear, but when it did happen, it stole Suzanne’s breath. “We were those friends who were so close that if one was told off by their mum, the other was, too.”

Suzanne laughed. “Yes, I know what you mean.”

“But as for Ruby, she was just such a good friend. I could call her any time, and she would pick up. She would drive over if either of us needed to talk, and she wouldn’t leave until we’d figured things out together. Considering she was into fashion and was really girly, the total opposite of me, we were like sisters. Actually, I was closer to Ruby than I was with my actual sister.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever really had a friendship like that. I’m very close with my own best friend, but at times…things can seem one-sided. Still, we’re older now. Life is life, and we see one another when we’re able to.”

“Friendship is an odd thing, isn’t it? Sometimes, we don’t see friends for a while, but we still know they’d be there for us at the drop of a hat. At least, that’s what my friendship was like with Ruby.”

“I’m glad you experienced that unconditional love with a friend. We all deserve to have a ride or die in life.”

Jen stared out at the water, a tear gathering at her jawline. “She was going to be famous. Ialwaystold her that. She was exceptional when it came to fashion design, and I just know she would have gone on to conquer some pretty big things.”

Suzanne felt the sadness in the air as Jen spoke about Ruby. While it was heartbreaking, it was also incredibly heartwarming to hear of such a special friendship. These days, those types of friendships were rare.

“She used to tell me that when we were billionaires, we would buy one another a yacht for Christmas and sail around the world together. We’d meet up on, say…the French Riviera and have lunch on one of our yachts.” Jen quickly brushed another tear from her cheek. “That we would interview the best chefs from around the world and decide on which one we would like to be our personal chef on board.”

“It sounds to me like you both had it all figured out.”

“Oh, we did. Most days, Ruby would tell me what our itinerary was. She had it all organised for weekends or whenever we were both off work at the same time. She just…” Jen puffed out her cheeks. “Life isn’t the same without her here. That’s all I can really say.”

Suzanne followed Jen’s line of sight as she turned and looked out at the water, too. She wrapped an arm around her shoulder and sighed. “Grief is something I don’t believe ever goes away. We adjust…of course we do. But someone who meant so much to you cannot just be erased from existence. Even if they’re not here, they’re in our memories.”

“I have so many of them with Ruby. I think that’s what kept me going most days. Even though I initially thought it was making things worse. Something would remind me of her, and I’d just continue on that downward spiral because it only made me miss her more, you know?”

“Mm. I do know. I went through the very same stage when John passed away.”

“Did you cope better than me?” Jen asked, then scoffed and shook her head. “Most of my days were a blur.”

“Most of mine were, too. And no, I didn’t cope very well at all. Some days, it seemed easier to stay in bed and ignore anyone who knocked on the door. Other days, I wanted to just sit and drink wine in the dark. I don’t know at what point I snapped out of it, but I’m glad I did. Feeling so alone even though you have a lot of people around for you is not something I ever wish to feel again.”

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