Page 7 of Hainn

At a loss for what to do, Jezari left the bed and paced the perimeter of the chamber, much as her inner beast would have done but the movement brought no relief and she was stumbling a little from being so tired. She drank a glass of water and rolled the cold glass across her forehead, hoping to soothe the ache.

Hainn’s serious face came to mind.

He could help her, couldn’t he? Surely a healer could banish the bad dreams and exorcise the terrible memories. She checked the time on the chrono by the bedside and slumped. It was so late, middle of the night really. This wasn’t an emergency, even if she felt her sanity might be slipping a bit. Could she disturb him now? Would he report her to the Alphas if she did?

She wished her telepathy was intact. It wouldn’t be so bad to intrude on his sleep with a gentle telepathic ‘knock’ he could ignore if he chose. Picking up her handheld she continued to debate with herself but finally the heart palpitations she was experiencing, not to mention the panic flashing through her made the decision easier. Hainn had given her his com information months ago when he’d been assigned as her healer and told her to use it any time. He’d hadn’t rescinded the offer, not even once she was out of the hospital. With an extra thump of her heart against her ribs, she initiated the call.

Badari with perfectly functioning senses could detect lies so she’d have to be careful what she said to him, if he even answered.

Haiin surfaced slowlyfrom a pleasant dream of swimming through one of the prettiest parts of lagoon at their home in the South Seas. He’d been searching for something or someone specific but there’d been no sense of urgency about the quest. Rolling over in his bed, he realized it was the sound of his com which had awakened him and adrenaline brought him to complete alertness at once. If an unknown person was calling him in the dead of night there had to be an emergency. By the time he threw back the covers and reached his handheld, the caller had given up and there was no message but it was easy enough for him to call back. As he did so he learned it had been Jezari who’d reached out to him and he was concerned. She’d never called him once during all the time he handled her case.

“Jezari? What’s wrong?”

Her voice was quavery, not the strong tones he was used to from her. “I’m so sorry to bother you —forget I called.”

Rising to his feet, he grabbed at his clothes one handed. “No, it’s fine, I promise. What’s going on?”

“I—I’m having terrible flashbacks tonight,” she said. “I think I’m in the middle of a full blown post traumatic event. I can hardly breathe and I feel like I’m going to pass out.”

Alarmed, he tried to calm her down a bit. “Take deep breaths, in, hold and then out. Breathe with me, okay?” After a few of those calming breaths, he asked, “Did you call on your sisters to help? Do you need me to come there?”

Her panic returned immediately. “No, I don’t want to bother them and you can’t come here.”

“Do you want to meet me at the hospital then?” Hainn didn’t like the idea of her trying to get herself to the hospital in the state she was obviously in at the moment. He resolved to call her Alpha the minute the com ended.

“No hospital,” she said in a whispery voice. “Going there right now would do me more damage than good. Would you meet me in the woods? Away from the lake?”

Stunned by the request he was silent.

“Maybe at the Great Mother’s circle?” she added.

Struggling with his sense of what was proper for a patient and his worry over Jezari, who was far from being an ordinary Badari in need of healing, Hainn closed his eyes and asked the goddess for direction. Blinking and focusing on his handheld, he said, “Yes. Are you sure you can get there?”

“The fresh air and being outdoors will do me good, I think. I’ll call you if I have trouble on the way.”

“Promise me.” He wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing here, despite the surety he had of his belief that the Great Mother approved.

“I promise. Thank you, Hainn. I’ll see you there in ten minutes.” She ended the com.

He swore, tossing the handheld onto the bed and finishing the job of getting dressed. The great circle was deep in the forest but of course Badari—even Jezari now she’d regained her health—could cover the distance in next to no time. Hainn was out of his room and on his way a minute later, nodding at the Badari soldier on duty at the entrance to the residence and breaking into a run the instant he was outside. The three moons shone on the forest as he ran and their light brought him inner peace. He had to be calm and collected in order to do Jezari any good with his healing powers. Emotion affected his ability to do his best.

When he reached the circle he found her huddled on the cold pavement, next to the platform where the Supreme Alpha stood when ceremonies were held. Heart full of caring and pity, he sat next to her and drew her shivering body into his arms. “I’m here now, shhhh. You’ll be fine. There are no Khagrish here to torment you.” Hainn held his healing power in abeyance fornow, concentrating on soothing her distress and sharing his body heat. She should have been comfortable even in the night air but obviously her PTSD incident was affecting all her body’s systems.

Gradually she stopped trembling and became less tense in his arms.

“Do you know what set this off?” he asked.

“I’m not exactly sure,” was her response and he could tell it was a half truth at best but he set aside the issue of the trigger temporarily to focus on treatment. ”Going outside and being in the forest helped but when I got here and was alone, it all came flooding back.”

Hainn refrained from commenting this location had been her choice. “The goddess’s circle should always be a place of peace for a Badari.”

Raising her head, she assessed the shrine where they stood. “I saw her once. She’s beautiful but terrifying.”

He didn’t ask for details because each Badari’s experiences with their Great Mother were private. His few encounters with her had been positive but he was a healer and thus closer to her than other Badari. “I’m told the original place of worship in the grove is even more awe inspiring but the northern packs did a good job creating this space for her here. We worshipped her on the beach at home.”

“Do you miss it?” she asked.

“Every minute of every day.” The energy of his response surprised Hainn. It had been an instinctive answer. “But I’m grateful to be here and not in Khagrish hands. We’ll get home one day, after the war ends.”

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