Page 180 of Swallow Your Sorries

“You choked on my cock for way longer. I promise you’ll be fine.”

More so to hide the redness I’m sure is creeping across my face that actual bravery, I do what I’m told.

By the time we hit the fifth set, I’m already feeling more comfortable.

“Okay now, let’s practise floating. If you inflate your lungs, you’ll float, if you don’t, you’ll sink. So take a big breath and lean on your back.”

“I think I like blowing bubbles better.”

“Be a good girl and get on your back. Spread your legs wide. It’ll help.”

“I’m sure.”

One of his hands creeps over my stomach, while the other slides across my back. Before I can grasp what he’s doing, I’m being pushed backwards.

“Wait!” I squeal. “Give me a second.”

By the two millionth second, he’s sick of waiting as he watches me take several deep breaths, as I try to inflate my lungs as he instructed. Suddenly I’m not sure how to.

But the view of the twisted tree trunks changes to that of the tree’s canopies dotted with bits of bright blue sky as I’m pushed into a horizontal position, with Gant holding the swell of my ass, and just between my shoulder blades.

“You said you wouldn’t rush me!”

“I didn’t. I merely gave you a little push. Look. You’re doing it.”

I look down at my floating legs, watching my toes point skyward.I guess I am.The water laps at my ears slowly, unnerving me a bit, but I try to ignore the sensation.

“All you have to do is relax and the water will do the rest. Don’t fight against it or it’ll claim you. Just work with it.”

I try to focus on those little patches of blue sky, but Gant blocks the view with his stupidly handsome face. Just the tick of his clenched jaw and the motion of his perfect hair falling into his perfect almond-shaped eyes is enough to make butterflies erupt in my stomach. Instinctively, I lick my dry lips at seeing his full smooth ones. Damn, they were so soft, so encouraging when he kissed me. Suddenly, all I can think about is kissing him again.

Then, I feel his hand ease away from the small of my back and immediately my hips sink below the water.

Suddenly Gant’s gone, and it’s Jarett’s face sneering down at me from the pool’s edge.

“Jarett!”

Just as quickly, Gant’s face replaces the image. Immediately he embraces me in his arms, hefting me out of the water altogether and I cling to his neck like a baby monkey.

Embarrassment swells in me as I mentally try to shake the memory away, but every time I blink, every time I hear a slosh of water, Jarett’s smug face comes zooming right back.

I feel myself grow heavier without the water’s aid, but it doesn’t feel like Gant notices as he walks us over to the massive beach towel and settles me onto his lap.

“Not Jarett, Dove. Gant,” he says soothingly, bringing me back to the present. “Jarett’s far away, unable to physically hurt you, though I know he lurks in the recesses of your brain, ready to torture you at the slightest trigger. Trust me, I know.”

I blink the water from my eyes and ask, “What sort of things does your father do? In your mind and in real life?”

“He likes to brand me,” he says after a long pause. “Scorch images into my brain that I can never get out. One of them is my mother’s corpse. He made me look at it, touch it, and take pictures of it. He told me that was her true self. Mangled and rotten and invested with worms.”

I gasp. “Gant, that’s horrible. What type of father…” I trail as he meets my gaze. Actually, I knew exactly what type of father would do that. Fathers like Jarett. “In your sleep, you kept whispering about how colditwas. Did…did you mean how cold she was?”

Is that why he isn’t touching me now? I’m touching him, but his hands are gripping the towel for dear life…

Gant nods and a smile that isn’t a smile at all creeps across his lips. “That’s the only way I see her now. I can remember the way she treated me. The way she took me away from my father constantly under the guise of educational trips across the world. But I can’t remember her physically with clarity. Only if I search for a picture of her online. One my father hasn’t managed to have scrubbed from the internet. He already destroyed all the ones in our house except one, but she’s already dead in it.”

“Fucking hell.”

“You sound like Hale.”

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