Page 153 of Redeemed

“All right, fine.”

Colton doesn’t protest. Even with how tense things are, he knows the connection Xander and I have. He leaves, and only once he’s out of earshot does Haven speak.

“Xander says he fantasizes about raping me.”

“Well, he shouldn’t have told you that.”

Xander stays silent, not looking at either of us.

“I know you do, too, Lucas,” Haven says.

I stiffen. “What? Xander, what the fuck? That’s private. You shouldn’t have told her—”

“He didn’t have to,” Haven cuts in quickly.

Oh.

“It’s obvious you all want it,” she continues. “I… I don’t fully understand why, but that’s just how my life has been since I moved to Pemberton. I’ll discover something that doesn’t make sense, then learn more about it, and then everything falls into place. Over and over and over again.”

“This isn’t one of those things,” I say.

“What if it is?”

“It’s not.”

“Why?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Haven. Just look at everything we’ve done to you, even just this past week. Do you really think you can trust Colton to stop when you need him to? And what about me and Xan? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten off to the thought of forcing myself on you. That shouldterrifyyou.”

“But I need this.”

“No, you don’t,” I grind out. “Colton got into your head and manipulated you into believing his stupid bullshit.”

“But—”

“Do you trust us?”

Haven frowns. “Lucas—”

“Do you trust us?”

She hesitates before deflating. “No.”

“Good. Because you shouldn’t. You need to know that we’ll stop when you tell us to. And right now, you don’t know that.”

Haven’s eyes go soft, and she stares at me with a mixture of longing and hope on her face.

I don’t like it.

I really, really don’t like it.

“What?” I ask roughly.

“I wish I could,” she whispers. “I wish…”

She doesn’t have to finish the sentence for me to know what she was going to say. Sometimes, I wish things could go back to the way they used to be, too.

Leaning forward, Xander places a hand on my thigh. “Listen, I know yesterday was really hard on Haven, but this is her decision. Yesterday scared you, I get it, but—”

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