Page 31 of So Worth More
I got up. “Come with me.” and I felt him follow me through the apartment to the bedrooms. “This is my room, but this one here - ” I motioned across the hall from the master, “is a spare. There’s fresh sheets and it has its own half bath.” He looked at me in confusion. “Get a shower, have a nap and we can talk after. I’ll bring you some sweats to sleep in.” In his current state, I thought my things would actually be loose on him. We had always been the same size, more like twins even with the two years separating us. All he could do was nod quietly, thank me and head into his room to rest.
Back in the kitchen I thought about what Alex had told me. Part of me was relieved that not all of my relationship with Helena had been lies. They hadn’t had a thing for more than a few months really before it’d all come out. It still stung, but it was a distant pain. I think it had made it easier to deal with that they had gotten married and had Joey. Unlike what’d happened with Charlie and Ethan. Charlie had thrown Ethan away after they’d gotten caught, the thrill of getting one over on me gone, and so was the interest in my boyfriend.
Alex and Helena though, they hadn’t just been a fling, but something real. I think that was why I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Alex had left her. Something really bad must’ve happened for him to do that. I’d seen photos and videos of their life together, I couldn’t avoid it as Mom wanted me to know my nephew, and they’d seemed so in love. Had it all been an act? Why, though?
After pottering around in the kitchen for a bit, I heard the shower shut off and the sounds of Alex moving around the spare room. When the sounds stopped and I realized I was just standing in a quiet apartment, I knew I had to get out for a bit. Leaving a note on the coffeemaker for Alex, I grabbed my things and headed for the gym.
***
I knew I was avoiding thinking about Alex and Helena and all the revelations there, but I knew there were more to come and was trying to brace myself for the worst. I was also thinking about Andy and all the things that I’d told Christian about him while I lifted weights.
Henry was working on the main floor rather than reception today. It was a relief to see him in a good mood. His break up with Gem was well and truly over and done with. I’d seen a new lightness in him as he walked the gym floor chatting to people. Before he noticed me at least. He visibly tensed as he approached me.
“Hey, man. How are you?” There was a strange note of pity in his voice that I didn’t understand.
“I’m alright, needing to blow off some steam, though. How’s it going?”
He tensed, “Andy?”
“Andy? Nothing’s wrong there as far as I know. Just dealing with my brother. He’s at my apartment and I need to work out some stuff.”
“So you haven’t spoken to Andy today, or heard anything about him?” he questioned looking wary.
“Nope, I woke up to family drama. I haven’t seen him since the office on Friday. He had dinner with Abby that night.”
“Fuck.”
Resting the weight and sitting up so I could talk to Henry properly, I was alarmed at the expression on his face. He looked like he wanted to flee from this situation; literally be doing anything other than dropping the bomb he was about to land in my lap.
“Look…Shit. Hold on, I need my phone. I think it’s better you just see rather than me telling you.”
I was left sweating, fearing that something truly awful had happened to Andy. I was ready to get up and run to the locker room so I could call him to see if he was okay. Though it was doubtful he would pick up after I’d ignored all his calls.
The minutes that passed felt like years as I watched Henry go to reception to get his phone and have a whispered conversation with his sister. They both glanced at me, looking worried before catching me staring and looking away.
Henry walked back to me like he was about to face his execution. “Okay, so don’t shoot the messenger. I had no idea about this. No one did.”
He passed me his phone with an article loaded on the main screen. Reading the headline, my heart seized in my chest.“Jonas Temper brings mystery man to gay charity gala.”
Scanning the page, I thought I was going to vomit when the actor was pictured with his arm around my Andy, the two of them sharing a joke. The piece told me that they’d turned up to a LGBTQA+ charity gala, finally silencing the debate on Jonas’s sexuality.
Jonas was even quoted!“I wanted to confirm that I’m bisexual on my own terms and I’m so happy that Andy could be here to support me. As a gay man, he understands how difficult coming out can be. Doing it while supporting this worthy charity made sense.”
There were so many pictures of them, including one that Andy had shared on his Instagram with them obviously in the limo before the event. Their heads together, holding half-full champagne glasses with the hashtags #myhero and #proud as well as the tags for the charity.
Emotions rose in me, shocking in their intensity. I hated that man! Jonas. He had taken Andy from me. I wanted to be sick, but I had to push the feelings down. This was all my own fault.
How many times was he supposed to hear “soon” before giving up? I’d felt it in all of our interactions recently. The distance spanning between us had grown to the point that our friends would cast uneasy glances at each other when we were all together. Not that it’d happened often lately. Fuck! I’d made such a mess of things! Brushed him off, too consumed with my plan of action instead of talking to Andy.
“Will.” Henry’s voice pulled me out of my spinning thoughts and he placed a hand on my shoulder as the other eased his phone from my hand carefully. “Are you okay?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that this is my fault. Andy hasn’t done anything wrong. I’ve been unfair to him, keeping him hanging.” I hung my head. I felt gutted and could only blame myself.
I got up, deciding to go. There were important things to do and hiding at the gym wouldn’t fix the mess I’d made of the first real thing I could’ve had. First there was my brother and then Andy. Maybe if I could get closure with the Alex and Helena thing, I could stop being half in, and give Andy everything he deserved.
***
After leaving the gym, I wandered around for a while, just lost in thought and trying to come to terms with the idea of Andy dating someone that wasn’t me. That feeling of nausea reared again. How had we gotten here? He’d been so patient. Andy had tried to talk to me so many times and I’d brushed him off. He’d taken all my shit and I’d treated him like a fucking doormat.
