Page 33 of Lost in Love
Anna shuffled closer to her and wrapped her arms around her.
“I’m so sorry,” Anna mumbled into Katherine’s hair. “If I’d have known, I would have kept a distance, flirted less.”
They separated but remained close.
“So you admit you were flirting?”
Anna laughed. “I… yes. All while you’re mourning your dead girlfriend.”
“Wife.”
Anna rolled her eyes. “I’m an arsehole.”
Katherine laughed. “Don’t stress about it. Honestly, don’t! You weren’t to know. I should have let you in earlier, but you have your own stresses and… it’s hard to talk about. You piece yourself back together, or in this case my best friend does, and you worry talking about it will pull a piece out and you’ll fall apart again.”
“Tell me you’re not going to fall apart from telling me.”
“I don’t plan to, but hopefully now you can understand where my head is at. It’s a little bit more cautious than my heart. It may take a bit more convincing to let go of the past.”
Anna nodded. “Is this why you’re into country living now?”
“Following doctor’s orders to rest and reduce your stress levels when you are mourning your dead wife was a struggle. Especially when you are surrounded by the life you had together. I’d also realised when she’d gone that I had nothing — except Rebecca, of course. She picked me up and helped me rebuild a new life here but with strict rules. She’s sort of like a sponsor.”
“It’s great that you have Rebecca, but do you not have any family?”
Katherine shook her head. “My father died when I was little, and my mother died of cancer two months before Helena. We never got the chance to tell her we were having a baby. She desperately wanted to be a grandmother.” She twisted her lips. “The irony was my mother left me a wealthy woman; I didn’t need to be working so hard, but it helped me forget she was gone. I should have stopped, and I didn’t. Now I have to live with that.”
She lifted her finger to Anna’s jaw, applying a light pressure to close her gaping mouth. Her finger wandered and stroked the side of Anna’s face. Anna took her hand and pressed it to her lips.
Katherine felt a flutter in her chest.
Their eyes locked.
“I’m so sorry all that happened to you. I’m here for you too.”
Katherine smiled and withdrew her hand slowly. “That’s also part of the problem.”
Anna frowned. “How do you mean?”
“Since all that happened, I found the best way to protect myself was to make sure I couldn’t get hurt again by losing anyone. It’s not by accident that I’m lonely; I choose it. But I’m finding as time goes on, I like it less.”
Anna nodded. “Now you’re opening yourself back up to possibilities and you’re…”
“Running scared. I hope you understand.”
“Completely.” Anna tucked her legs underneath her. “Since we’re being honest, I want to discuss what you said about me.”
Katherine shut her eyes, embarrassed to think about it. “Sorry.”
Anna reached out to her and placed a hand on her knee. “No, don’t be. You’re right, I am a control freak, but I’m trusting you with Dad. That’s a big deal for me.”
“I know. I’ll give him the best care, as a doctor and a friend, but please take heed from what’s happened to me. We all have our breaking point, and we usually don’t know where that point is until it’s too late.”
Anna nodded her agreement.
Katherine gulped the last of her hot chocolate and stood. “I better be going. It’s very late.”
Anna walked her to the door and held it open.
