Page 54 of All My Witches
“Oh, good grief.” Thistle sank to the ground, glaring at the bear as it eyed her with what looked to be hunger. “Don’t even think about it. I’ll bite you back, and I have rabies so it won’t end well foryou.”
I pursed my lips to keep from laughing. “AuntTillie… .”
“I’ve never heard of this Aunt Tillie you speak of.” Aunt Tillie’s tone was forced and clipped. She sounded like a snotty rich woman on an eighties soap opera. Technically, of course, that’s what she was going for, so she managed to do it with aplomb. “My name is AlexisKane.”
“Ugh. It’s like talking to a wall.” Thistle flicked her eyes to me. “We could wrestle her down and poke her with needles – or knives, if we can find them – until she gives in. We could see if our magic works enough to curse her into submission. Or, and I’m just spitballing here, we could take her back to the waterfall and throw herover.”
“That waterfall is lethal,” Lila interjected. “I only survived because I was determined to get back to my love.” She batted her eyelashes at Landon, who quickly looked in the opposite direction. “Love kept me alive, Jericho. That love will continue to sustainme.”
“It’s still wrong to punch women in a soap opera world, right?” Landon looked weary when he pinned me with a gaze. “I know she’s not real,but… .”
“You can’t hit my wife,” Hutch snapped. “She’s pregnant with ourchild.”
“Only because you switched out my birth control pills.” Lila’s eyes fired. “You wanted to keep me from my heart, but it won’t work.” Lila scrambled to get around Hutch and threw her arms around Landon’s neck before he could evade her. “Tell him, Jericho. Tell him we’re meant to betogether.”
“Oh, why is it always me?” Landon whined as he tried to extricate himself from Lila’s grip. “Why isn’t this happening to Sam and Marcus,too?”
“Because you’re the leading man.” I answered before I thought better ofit.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Landon grabbed Lila’s wrists and positioned her so she was in front of him but couldn’t run her fingers through his hair. Under normal circumstances I would’ve been offended, infuriated even. Now I was too tired to musteroutrage.
“She means that you’re the leading man.” Thistle wrinkled her forehead. “That suggests she’s the leading heroine and Clove and I are supportingcharacters.”
Crap. This wouldn’t end well. “That’s not what Isaid.”
“But you’re thinkingit.”
“I amnot.”
“You areso.”
“I amnot.”
“You areso.”
“I amnot.”
“Okay, as much as I would like to wait it out and see how many times you guys can say that to one another, it’s not helping,” Marcus chided. “We won’t get through this if you guys startarguing.”
I stretched my arms over my head. “I’m not the one who started thefight.”
“Of course not,” Thistle sputtered. “You’re the leading lady. You’re above afight.”
“I didn’t say I was the leadinglady!”
“Knock it off.” Landon moved away from Aunt Tillie, although the look he shot her over his shoulder threatened potential mayhem if she attempted to flee. “I don’t see why you’re arguing about this. Who cares about the leading ladydesignation?”
Thistle, Clove, Lila and Aunt Tillie shot their hands in the air inunison.
“I’m the leading lady,” Lila said. “I’m propelling the story right now. I mean … my husband tricked me into getting pregnant, I just fell over a waterfall and the love of my life is grappling with the fact that I’m carrying another man’s child. How am I not the leadinglady?”
“Don’t refer to him as ‘the love of your life,’” Isnapped.
“Are youjealous?”
“No, I just don’t likeit.”
“I’m with Bay.” Landon slipped an arm around my shoulders and glared at Lila. “I am not the love of your life. Stop saying that. It makes us alluncomfortable.”
