Page 20 of Sloth
It’s crazy that something as simple as eating breakfast can make me giddy happy, but here I am staring across the table, sharing a smile with Luke while he eats the pancakes I made him.
“I’m thinking about applying for that job in the library,” I tell him, hoping it won’t change the mood he’s in.
“That’s a great idea,” he tells me, standing up to put his plate in the basin and kissing the top of my head as he passes me.
“You wouldn’t mind me going to work?” I check.
“Not if it’s somethin’ you wanna do.” He shrugs his shoulders like it’s no big deal, and I feel my smile get even bigger.
“I just thought it would help pay a few bills and?—”
“You know I got that covered, right?” His face turns serious. “I got three of Brock Henderson’s horses coming here Tuesday for me to break in, and Titan’s being sent to stud a mare in Billings next week.”
“I know you got it.” I stand up and go to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and teasing his nose with mine. “I just wanna pull my weight around here.”
“You do pull your weight. You keep this place tidy, you cook all the meals; last week, you even helped deliver that calf. You do more than your fair share,” he tells me, swaying me a little in his arms and staring into my eyes in that way that makes me fall even harder in love with him every time he does it.
“The job’s only part-time; I’ll still be able to do all those things. I just think it would be good for me to get out of the house and be sociable.” I know that Luke is different from Matthew; he’s proved that every day since he’s been living here, but I can’t help being cautious when having conversations like this one. It’ll take a while for me to get used to normal again.
“Matthew wouldn’t let you have a job, would he?” Luke frowns as his eyes fill with pity. I’ve been trying so hard not to talk about how life was with his brother; he pretends to be okay with it, but deep down, I know it’s hard for him to hear.
“Matthew never let me leave the house without him. I had to rely on him going to the stockyard to get to that family planning clinic.” I remember the way my heart would beat out of my chest the moment he left. Thankfully, I was never caught. I can’t imagine what would have happened if I was.
“I’m sorry you had to go through all that. I wish I’d known.” Luke strokes his thumb over my cheek, and naturally, I lean into his hand.
“None of it matters now.” I smile at him hopefully, and when we both hear footsteps on the porch, we quickly break away from each other.
“Morning.” Mary bursts through the door joyfully.
“Mornin’.” Luke clears his throat, looking guilty, while I flick the coffee machine on and avoid eye contact. It’s normal for Mary to call in unannounced these days, and her visits are never short. I figure that being here makes her feel close to Matthew, so I’m always welcoming to her.
“I brought blueberry muffins. I saw Liza in town yesterday, and she wouldn’t stop talking about them.” Mary places a basket on the table before heading over to Luke and kissing his cheek.
“I see you replaced the old corral. It looks good,” she comments, heading straight for the basin and starting on the breakfast dishes I haven't had a chance to do yet.
“I got three of Brock’s colts turning up Tuesday; thought making it a little bigger would?—”
“You're breaking in horses?” Mary looks alarmed.
“Yeah, I trained Dusty myself, and the horses Issac and Jake are riding. I’m pretty good at it.” He winks at me when she’s not looking, and it makes my stomach flip.
“This is a cattle ranch, Luke,” she reminds him, her face turning stern like she’s disappointed.
“I know that, but cattle don’t make money fast. Do you know how much I can earn from turning out a well-trained horse?”
“It’s not about what you can earn, it’s about what Matthew wanted. If he wanted this place to be a horse farm, he’d have broken horses in himself.” I can see her getting agitated, and I try to think of a way to defuse the situation.
“Mary, we both agreed that?—”
“Oh, youbothagreed. Well, that makes it okay.” She throws her arms up and laughs sarcastically. “Matty wouldn’t have wanted this. He wanted to build on the herd. You know that.”
“Plans change, and I’m grateful that Luke is looking at other ways to bring revenue to the ranch. The more money he makes, the more we can invest in the herd.” I know I’m making sense, and when Mary closes her eyes and takes a long, deep breath, I know that she does, too. Things are just tough for her to get her head around right now.
“Do you know how dangerous breaking in a horse can be?” She looks back at Luke.
“Mom, I’ve done it before.”
“Doing it before doesn’t make you an expert,” she tells him firmly.
