Page 69 of Dirty Roulette
“You act like we didn’t both grow up with the same person,” he argues.
“She’s insecure with every part of herself!”
“So what? Who isn’t these days?” he asks.
“You’re not over Brittni, and if you were, you wouldn’t be playing both sides. You haven’t blocked her, you haven’t stopped letting hertouch you. I see the way you look at both of them, and it’s messed up. You look at Brittni like she broke your heart, and you look at Payton like you know you’re about to break hers. You’re gonna hurt her. Then what?”
“Who said I’m going to break her heart?” he asks.
“She’s not some rebound, you asshole!”
“I don’t see her that way!”
“You can’t date her!” Charlie shouts.
“That’s not your choice!” he screams back.
“You told Brody you weren’t over the night he was with Brittni. You’re going to break Payton’s heart, and nothing between me and her will ever be the same! You’re such a selfish prick.”
There is a pause. “God, you must be drunk. So you’re talking to him again?” Ryder asked.
“Yes...”
“Wow... okay. So now what, you’re gonna take him back like you always do? What about this Noah guy, huh? I’m gonna say it again – Payton needs to talk to you about this.”
“Don’t make me choose between you two,” Charlie says.
“Then don’t. Choose her.”
“It’s not that simple, and you know it.”
“It is simple. You two just make it complicated!”
“Can I pee now?” she asks.
“Yeah...”
The door slams, and the lock clicks. The lid of the toilet smacks against the porcelain tank. A thousand gallons of urine pour out of Charlie sitting right next to me. I swallow, and it’s so loud in my ears I’m sure she can hear every drop of saliva sinking down my dry throat.
A faint dial tone hits my ears from the other side of the closet door. Within a second the buzz on my phone vibrates with her name cruising across the screen. I curse in silence and power down my cell.
“Where are you?” She complains, and I subtly hear her sniffle. “I can’t fucking do this anymore.” Her voice tremors.
One subtle movement and the rubber of my white sneakers will squeak.
“What the hell?! Answer your phone!” She cries. If I move, she’ll see the silhouette of my shadow in the closet. “Why do I even care anymore?” The toilet flushes and water from the sink turns on and off. The door opens and shuts again. “All you do is ignore me now.”
My head spins, in a dizzy, horrifying way. It’s like I’m on a carousel without brakes. I’m saturated with tears staining my cheeks and it’s smearing my makeup. Charlie has always been observant, and her merely saying he isn’t over Brittni’s sinks through layers of muscles and deep into my bones.
Are they really going to mold back together once this stupid game is finished? After several minutes of crouching in the cramped closet, I sit up. My sneakers squeak against the tile as I stand up.
Chapter twenty-three
Ryder
“Where is she?” Brittni fumes. “I watched you walk off with her!” She’s pushing me in the shoulders and knocking me into the counter in the kitchen. The beer in my hand sloshes back and forth and the foamy contents spill on the checkered tile. Tiny fists pound on my chest. It’s been like five seconds since I left the bathroom and she ambushes me.
“There are people everywhere. Stop!” I whisper with my teeth gnashed together. There are eyes on us, I feel them eavesdropping on our conversation and I’m waiting for that one person to whip out their phone and film us for their ten seconds of fame.
