Page 61 of A Wrench in the Plan
No, I didn’t want to talk about what happened at the garage. Or that I’d been avoiding Evan since then. And I really didn’t want to talk about how I felt like shit over it, but the guilt of my recent choices left me doing my best to keep miles of distance between us.
Hell, I was shutting everyone out at this point. I hadn’t talked to my parents in three days, and I’d kept the conversation brief. Hadn’t seen Trav since that day in the garage where he chewed me out for all of sixty seconds before running off after Evan.
Fuck, I hadn’t talked to Cat since…
Sincethen.
I hadn’t even gotten the chance to see her in the hospital. I’d been out of it when she’d been discharged and her dad had taken her straight home. For all I knew, she didn’t even want to see me. Didn’t want to talk to me. I sure as fuck couldn’t blame her for being done with me.
Just like Evan was.
I’d failed her. And I’d pushed him away one too many times.
So, yeah, I was standing in a shit pile of my own making.
“Something’s gotta give,” Travis said. “You can’t stay like this forever. You can’t take this all on yourself and hurt those who you care about because you feel you’ve failed in some way.”
“Fuck off,” I grunted.
He just fuckin’ laughed at me.
“Maybe you should focus on something else? How about thinking about the house? Should be able to move in next month,” he said, going on about shit as if I hadn’t given him the biggest sign that I wanted to be alone.
The house.
I’d forgotten about that.
Forgotten all about the idea of asking Evan to move in with me. Of getting him out of that shitty place he was in with roommates that didn’t respect his space. Of having a place where Cat could hang out and crash without having to share a bed with two big dudes trying to cuddle.
It had been a perfect image not that long ago.
Now, the thought of moving in there by myself seemed so… well, so fuckin’ lonely and more depressing than the state I was currently in.
No thanks. I’m good on that.
“What’s the point?” I finally mumbled. His silence was freaking me out.
“So… you’re just going to throw everything away now?”
His calm tone was pissing me off.
“I don’t have anything to throw away,” I said back.
He blew out a long breath.
“It’s worse than I thought.” I imagined him shaking his head at me. “What is it that you want, Chry?”
What did I want? What did that even mean?
“I want to be left alone. I want things to go back to the way they were before…” I closed my eyes. “I want things that I can’t have. I want to stop hurting the people I care about.”
“Who have you hurt?”
I rolled over and glared at him. He knew damn well who I was talking about, he was just trying to get me to talk.
“You’re not my therapist,” I snapped.
“No,” he shot back. “But I am your best friend.”
