Page 15 of Love Story
John glanced at the clock on the wall. The one Elizabeth had bought for him on their tenth anniversary.Because time is our greatest gift,she’d told him. John had kept it because, well, he and Elaine needed a clock. No sense getting another one. And none of the kids wanted it. A clock on the wall seemed no longer a necessity what with phones and watches and computers and microwaves.
The time was everywhere.
But today the clock practically screamed at him, reminding him of one very special truth: Though time had moved on, today it would take him back. All the way back to the beginning. John clicked the brew button on the coffeemaker and sauntered toward the old clock. It looked a little crooked. He adjusted it one way and then the other until it was perfect.
Can she see me, God... my Elizabeth? Does she know the journey I’m about to take?He paused.Would You tell her I miss her, Father. Please, would You do that?
John turned away from the clock and sat at the table. The stack of photographs contained images of some of the happiest moments he’d ever known, from the first time he locked eyes with Elizabeth to the birth of Brooke. That was all Cole needed. He had only asked about the beginning of their love story. How it all started. After Brooke, the story became always and ever happier.
Until Elizabeth’s cancer.
A sigh worked its way up from John’s heart. He’d been through every single photo. These were copies of the best of them—starting with their first picture together. The one someone had shot at the mixer, the dance where they met.
Elaine walked into the kitchen and smiled. He’d almost forgotten she was here, working on one of her handmade quilts in the next room.
“Coffee smells good.”
“Thanks. I made hot chocolate for Cole.”
“Good idea.” She came to him and put her hand on his shoulder. “It’s chilly. Nothing like a warm drink and a good story.”
John studied her, looking for any sense of bitterness or jealousy. He saw none. “I want you to be part of the story. Stay, would you?” He took her hand. “Please.”
“You know I want you to do this, right?” She took the seat beside him, a bit weary.
“Of course. You told me to do it.” His heart beat faster and alarm filled his soul.Where is she going with this?“Are you changing your mind? Elaine...” He took hold of her hand. “Cole and Ashley will be here in ten minutes.”
“I’m not changing my mind.” Her voice was kind, but her eyes held a pain John had never seen before. “It’s just... you’ve been distracted this week. Like you slipped back into some other time and sort of, I don’t know... forgot about me.”
“Elaine...” John felt a physical ache. He didn’t want any of this to hurt her. “I’m so sorry. I never meant...” He wasn’t sure what to say.
She was right.
John had spent much of the week going through the photos, remembering the beautiful and painful times that made up his and Elizabeth’s story. “I’m sorry.” His mind raced for something to say, something that would help ease the uncomfortable feeling between them. “If you stay... maybe this can be about us sharing the story. Not just me. You’d feel more included.”
“John.” Elaine angled her head and gave him a doubtful look, the sort of disbelieving look she might give if John had said he was going to sprout wings. “There’s no way I can be included in your story. It’s yours and Elizabeth’s. Period.”
This hadn’t happened since John had married Elaine, a reason to go back and relive once more the details of his story. He searched Elaine’s eyes. “I don’t want this to come between us.”
“It won’t.” She picked up the photo at the top of the stack—the one of John and Elizabeth at that first dance. Elaine looked at it for a long time and then turned to John. “You think I can be here while you go through these photos? While you talk about how young and beautiful she was, and how you would’ve gone to the moon for her?” Tears welled in her eyes.
John felt terrible, but there was nothing he could say. If he was honest with himself, now that she’d given him her blessing on this project, John was looking forward to spending time in the past. Where Elizabeth’s memory still lived. “It all happened so long ago.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Elaine set the photo down. She was quiet for nearly a minute, as if she was choosing her words with great care. “John... I love you. But I can’t be here.” For a brief moment a shadow of sadness seemed to fall over her. “I’ll be okay. I’ll find things to do, and this will pass.”
He hoped so. But that’s exactly what John was worried about; how long it would take to find his way back to the place he’d been before all this. The easy way of living and thinking and following God with Elaine by his side. The life they’d lived before Cole came by last week.
Life with Elaine was happy. Their days were beautiful and meaningful. Sure, he thought about Elizabeth every now and then. Her memory was a part of him. He could see her in the faces of their children. But he didn’tlivein the past.
After the next month, he wasn’t so sure.
Elaine stood and kissed his cheek. “I’m going to Margaret’s. She’s working on a quilt, too. We’re going to stitch together and catch up.” A smile lifted the corners of her mouth. He could tell she wasn’t angry.
“I understand.” This was all John’s fault. He’d have to work to remember her feelings, to not be consumed with the story he was about to tell. “I’m sorry, Elaine. I don’t know what else to say.”
“It’s okay.” Again, she put her hand on his shoulder. “I want you to talk freely. Like I said before, Cole deserves this story.” She smiled. “After four Thursdays I’ll probably have three quilts. Which is fine by me.”
He stood and brushed his knuckles softly against her face. “You’re amazing. If I haven’t told you lately.”
