Page 30 of Truly, Madly, Deeply
Tommy looked at her. “You want to go back?”
“No.” A grove of trees stood just off the path ahead. She led him there and she leaned against one of the trunks. He faced her, inches away, and Annalee brought her hand to his cheek. “I love you, Tommy. Do I tell you that enough?”
“Yes.” He looked concerned. “You always tell me. I love you, too.” He hesitated. “You’re going to get better, Annalee. You need to believe that.”
“I do.” She didn’t hesitate. But they both knew there were no guarantees. Not with cancer. She studied his handsome face, the line of his jaw. “Hold me. Please.” Her voice fell to a whisper. “Don’t let go.”
“Annalee.” He drew her into his arms and cradled her head to his chest. “I’m here.” This moment was entirely different than the one on Karon Beach last summer. Rather than passion and possibilities, this embrace was wrapped in worry. Desperation. “I’ll help you through it. Every day,” Tommy whispered into her hair. “I won’t ever leave.”
His words meant everything to her. Not only that he wouldn’t leave her here, now. At the starting line of the most terrifying fight of her life. But he wouldn’tleaveher. Not ever. She understood that from his tone.
The sun was setting and she had to get back. Tomorrow everything would change. She would be busy with doctor appointments and whatever medications they might start her on in anticipation of her hospital stay. And the next morning after that…
Annalee didn’t want to think about it. She breathed in the smell of Tommy’s cologne and memorized the sound of the water moving through the canal. The feel of his arms around her. And all she wanted was to stay this way with him forever.
She moved just enough to see his face. “I wish you could come home with me. Stay with me. Overnight.” She didn’t have to spell it out. “You know?”
The look in his eyes was the same one he’d had on the beach of Phuket. Even with the vastly different reasons. He touched her face. “Do you mean…?”
“Yes.” Annalee took a slow breath. “Everything’s different now.” Her heart beat faster. “So what if… what if we never get the chance.” Her breath mingled with his. “Kiss me, Tommy. Would you?” She took gentle hold of his face. “Please.”
He searched her eyes. “We’ll get the chance, Annalee. One day.” He wove his fingers into her hair.
And like something from a dream, his lips were on hers. Never mind that they couldn’t spend the night together. Tommy’s kiss was the sweetest thing Annalee had ever known. The sun was setting, shadows falling, and time stopped as he kissed her again. Like they weren’t in the park and she wasn’t sick.
Tommy searched her eyes. “That… was amazing.”
“Yes.” A thrill of soft laughter quieted every concern in Annalee’s heart. “All I want is you.” She slid the side of her face against his. The feel of him this close made her forget everything else.
“Me, too.” Tommy looked straight through to her soul. “But I want so much more, Annalee. I want you well.” He kissed her once more and then, breathless, he stepped back. “I need to get you home.”
“I know.” Leaving here was the last thing she wanted to do. She wanted to stop the sun in the sky and keep darkness from falling. So they could stand here a little longer. Kiss and laugh and talk about the day when they wouldn’t have to say goodbye. When they could stay like this till morning and let passion have its way. Maybe dreaming would keep the dark away. Anything to outrun tomorrow. Because in this beautiful unforgettable moment, Tommy’s next kiss said all she needed to know.
And cancer couldn’t get a word in edgewise.
11
Tommy took the day off school Wednesday, and watched the poison enter Annalee’s body one drip at a time. He couldn’t remember the name of the drug or the kind of medication the doctor had inserted into her chest port before this one.
All that mattered was Annalee.
Hours passed and it was just the two of them in her hospital room now. Annalee’s mother was down in the cafeteria, but Tommy wouldn’t move from her side. He couldn’t.
“How do you feel?” He sat in the chair beside her bed and held her hand. The one without the IV needle.
“Tired.” The light in her eyes had never dimmed. Not once. And she hadn’t complained since treatment began. She looked deep into his eyes. “How about you, Tommy? Are… you afraid?”
“Of what?” Tommy didn’t dare let her see his fear. “God’s using this to make you better. That’s what we both want.”
He stared at the bag above her bed. Getting cancer treatment at the hospital was a whole lot more complicatedthan he had known. And there were a dozen known side effects for her type of chemo. But this morning even as the doctor went over the list of probabilities, Annalee’s peace never wavered.
Tommy kissed her hand and kept eye contact with her. “So you don’t feel sick?”
“No.” A soft laugh came from her. “The side effects don’t hit for a long time. Days even.”
Tommy nodded. “I… hate that you have to go through this.” He gritted his teeth and locked eyes with her again. She didn’t look good. Her skin was gray and her face seemed thinner than a week ago.
“Hey.” She pressed her fingers between his. “We prayed about this… remember?”
