Page 34 of Tell Them Emily Sent You
He muttered something.
“What?”I asked.
He sighed, and said loudly, “I said, bite my ass.”
I laughed, as did the others.“So very grumpy.I don’t remember your previous hangovers making you this crabby before.”
He pulled up the towel just enough to glare at me with one baleful eye.“Kindly stop stabbing your words into my brain, and let me die in peace.”
“Fang is probably already up, has had breakfast, and is zooming around making sure everything is good,” I said without a shred of confidence behind my words.
“He can bite my ass, too,” came the muffled reply.
“You’ve got two hours to get over your hangover,” I told him, rising and clutching my towel to myself.Amy and Kathie were chatting in the corner about books, and my mother had just exited, citing a need for a shower before she got dressed.
I followed her back to the hotel, stopping by the spa reception to pick up Herbert, who had been enjoying being spoiled by Kim, the nail tech.
I expected to find Fang still snoozing, but to my surprise, our room was barren of any sexy vets.
Instead, it was full of Bess and Monk.
In Ren Faire costumes.
“Oh, hello,” I said, pausing to note my sister’s pale-blue Arwen dress (complete with silver-leaf accessories) and her husband’s Aragorn ensemble.He also bore a sword strapped to his waist.“What are you guys doing in my room?I told you we had one for you.It’s to the right, left at the T.It’s opposite the back stairs.”
“We can’t stay, not beyond your wedding,” Bess said, glancing around the room.“Where’s Herbert?”
“Safe,” I said, having stashed him with Amy’s husband, Corbin, who evidently had a fondness for birds.“We’re about to do hair and makeup, such as it is.Er ...that’s a nice dress.Is Monk being Viggo?”
“Of course,” she said, brushing her hand down her gown.“Is there anyone else?”
“We are a family of Viggo fans,” I admitted.“Did you want to do the getting-ready thing with us?Kathie will be there, as well as Holly and Marla, and Amy, a new friend who runs a gaming company with her husband.”
“No, I won’t, if it’s no matter to you,” Bess said, examining herself in the mirror, touching an intricately braided hairstyle, which was dotted with more silver leaf.I had no doubt she knew how well she looked.She definitely favored our blond mother more, while I had to live with hair that was turning into Brother’s shade of brown with each year that passed.“But if you’d like me there, I can send Monk into hiding until we’re sure the coast is clear.”
“Huh?”I asked, gathering up a cosmetic bag into which I’d stuffed everything I would need to be made presentable.“Why does he have to hide?You can’t possibly expect bird-fighting villains to crash my party.”
“You don’t know them like we do,” Monk said, sitting on the foot of the bed, and turning on the TV.
I had to give him that point.“Why don’t you go to your own room,” I said, shooing them toward the door.“You can’t stay here, because at some point, Fang will come back to change.”
“We can’t,” Bess said, spinning around to examine her backside.“There are people hanging around the corridor.”
“People?People not our family?Was it Amy and Corbin?”I briefly described them.
“No.Some dude with lizards on his pants was hovering at the landing, and he hid around the corner when Monk tried to go into our room.”She carefully seated herself at the small table and helped herself to our “Wedding Morning Noms So You Don’t Faint Walking down the Aisle” spread that Mace had delivered earlier.I noticed that Fang had eaten the croissants and fruit I’d left him, so at least that told me he wasn’t suffering the same hangover that affected Devon.“This looks good.Is it vegan?”
“It’s goat’s cheese, so I’m going to say no,” I answered, typing a text to Fang.We’d made a promise that once we had separated for morning activities, we wouldn’t see each other again until the ceremony.I thought it was a bit silly, but for some reason, Fang was all for it.
“Eh.It’s good I’m not vegan yet,” Bess said, and stuffed a cracker with rosemary lemon feta into her mouth.“What’s up?You missing your fiancé?”
“Just checking where he is.Ah.He’s off at the local shop buying Devon some pain meds, and a package of bandages because his new shoes rubbed a blister last night.”
“That’s it?”Bess said, spreading one of the cloth napkins that we hadn’t used, and loading up a small plate.She stopped to shoot me a questioning look.“Where’s the romance?Where’s the sense of expectant anticipation?Where’s your air of delicate maidenhood about to flower?Get with it, Emily!It’s your wedding day.”
“One in which I’m destined to go hungry if you keep eating my special-day shit,” I said, moving just out of her reach a little bit of smoked salmon that I’d left alone because I didn’t want to have salmon breath when I went in for the official kiss.
“Special-day shit?This is exactly what I’m talking about,” Bess said, stuffing more bread and cheese in around her words.“I swear, you don’t have a romantic bone in your body.Poor Fang.Do you even tell him you love him?”
