Page 71 of The Shape of Your Heart
‘I wanted you to know the facts, that’s all.’ He looks at me quizzically. ‘I still don’t know why you came here that day.’
‘My dad had just been taken into hospital again.’ I pause, remembering. ‘I wasn’t feeling too good.’ I pause again, looking at him. ‘I guess it was one of those times I needed a friend.’
‘I’m so sorry.’ His words sound genuinely heartfelt. ‘I wish I’d known.’
I shake my head. ‘It doesn’t matter.’ I walk closer to him. ‘I suppose when you believe you’re about to lose someone, it does weird stuff to your head – about what’s important. I worked out it’s my parents and my sisters… But also… you are, too.’ I gaze at him. ‘Anyway, I just wanted to say that – because so often we don’t say these things.’ Awkward all of a sudden, I stand there. ‘I’ve said too much, haven’t I?’
Shaking his head, he puts his arms around me.
* * *
More and more, I’m aware Nathan and I are growing closer. Meanwhile, I plough my spare time into fine-tuning my plans for the walk in Spain, working out what clothes I need to take and buying some walking boots. Setting off on hikes to wear them in, I walk the coast path.
I express my misgivings to Sasha, that I can’t help feeling we should put this off. Since our other sisters live further away, it’s feels too soon to leave our parents. But Alice and Rita aren’t having any of it. ‘We can look after them. We’ve known for ages that you and Sasha are doing this. You need this.’
And they’re right. We do. It’s just the timing.
My mother, meanwhile, astonishes me and after clearing out their old clothes, she starts on the house that for thirty-five years has been their home.
‘I don’t know how I’ve ended up with so much stuff,’ she says time and time again. ‘I honestly don’t know what to do with it all.’
‘We’ll get someone in, love.’ My father is unperturbed.
‘I can’t have a stranger going through this house,’ my mother says crossly.
‘Come and have a cup of tea, Mum.’ I pull out a chair at the kitchen table, placing a mug where there’s a gap between the boxes, before sitting next to her. ‘Have you and Dad decided what’s next?’
She looks confused. ‘You mean after we leave here?’ She glances at my father. ‘Good God. I’ve been so busy, I haven’t thought.’
‘Well, luckily looking at a laptop is one thing I can do.’ My father’s eyes twinkle at her. ‘I have a short list – when anyone’s ready.’
‘Perhaps you need to look at them, Mum?’ I say gently. ‘Once you have an idea of what kind of property you’re after, it will be so much easier to work out what you’re going to need – and what you won’t have room for.’
‘Oh dear, I don’t know what I’ve been thinking.’ She looks flustered.
‘Shall I get your laptop?’ I ask.
‘I think that’s a very good idea.’ He glances at my mother. ‘What do you say?’
She blinks at him. ‘I suppose so.’
After an hour perusing the properties he’s picked out, one in particular catches her eye. A cottage with a good-sized garden, it’s in a village a few miles away. ‘It’s a bit small,’ she says doubtfully.
‘Most houses are compared to this one. But that cottage has four bedrooms, Mum – and two are downstairs. You’ll still be able to have us all to stay, but the rooms are smaller and it has a manageable garden. I really like it.’
‘I think it looks perfect,’ my father says. ‘Shall we go and see it?’
I go with them to view it. It has a large kitchen-diner and a cosy sitting room with a fireplace. And while the walls need a lick of paint, it’s clearly been someone else’s much-loved home. My mother, meanwhile, is smitten with the garden and when she makes up her mind surprisingly quickly, my father takes no persuading.
Already mentally moving in, she looks at my father. ‘I really can’t be bothered going to see anywhere else. What do we do next?’
‘I’ll take care of that,’ he says quietly.
‘I don’t think so, Dad. You’re supposed to be taking it easy, remember?’ I have an idea. ‘But if we need some help, as it happens, I know just the person.’
* * *
I stand on Nathan’s doorstep, trying to explain. ‘They’ve lived in the house for thirty-five years – and she’s extremely capable. But my dad’s always taken care of their finances and right now, he’s supposed to be taking things easy. Obviously I just wondered if you might be able to help us organise things like surveys and moving – and if there’s anything else that needs sorting before they move in.’
