Page 133 of One Night Only
He says nothing.
“Then go.” My voice is calm. Thank God for that at least. “If you don’t want to tell me what’s happening, then go.”
He watches me for a long moment, assessing me. Maybe waiting for me to change my mind. “If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
“I’ll call you in a few days.”
“I won’t answer.”
“I’ll still call. And if you want to see me before then—”
“Just go,” I snap and this time he does, giving me one last look before he grabs his bag and walks out, closing the door softly behind him.
I can’t believe it.
What the hell just happened?
I let out an angry breath, tears threatening. That was not how I wanted it to go at all. I wanted him to sit there and explain and let me be angry and maybe yell at me and then we’d kiss and move on.
Instead, he sat there. He sat there and he refused to tell me how he really felt.
Because he loves her.
He loves her and he’s married to her, separation or not, and how the hell am I supposed to compete with that? I knew it was too good to be true. I let him play me with his teasing and his sunrises andI really like you in that dress, Sarah, all the while he was married.
He’s married.
I pace around the apartment, glaring at the pretzels, glaring at the spot on the sofa where he sat. The pressure still rises inside, squeezing my chest. In my bedroom, I pick up a pillow and scream into it for a few long seconds until I have nothing left to give.
It’s only when I stop do I hear the knocking.
28
I stare through the keyhole at the top of Declan’s head as he knocks again and again and again.
“Leave me alone,” I yell.
“No.”
“You just said you’d go.”
“I changed my mind. Open the door.”
“No. Go away.” I stand back, adopting a defensive stance as if he’s about to break the thing down.
“I’m not going to let you overthink this,” he calls. “I’ve been standing out here for five minutes and now I’m sick of it, so let me in.”
“No.”
“Sarah!” He knocks again, loudly and I wince, thinking about the neighbors. “Let me explain.”
“You didn’t want to explain before.”
“And I still don’t but I will now if that’s the only thing that’s going to help you get over this.” There’s a softer thump against the door like he’s rested his head against it. “I’ve spent too long trying to guess what’s going on in your mind and waiting for the right moment. So I give up. You’re right. There is no right moment. There’s only now. So let me in so we can talk.”
I don’t want to talk. I want to scream into my pillow again.
