Page 33 of Cinnamon Strudel
“That should be okay.”
“I have three rules. You have to be honest, not just to me but yourself. If something doesn’t feel right, you have to let me know even if you are not sure what exactly it is.”
“I will.”
“You have to bevocal. I know that may seem obvious, but sometimes in the moment, you can forget.”
“I’m working on that.”
“I know and I think you are doing wonderfully. My third is that we need a safeword. We often tend to say ‘stop’ or ‘no’ in the moment without truly meaning it. A safeword ensures that there isn’t any miscommunication.”
“What do you usually use?”
“Cinnamon.”
“Did you just make that up?”
He laughed and shook his head. “No, I’ve actually always used that. We both can use it and once it is said anything that is happening ends, and we check on each other.”
“Cinnamon,” Ruby repeated to herself. “I can remember that.”
Laying the rope across his lap he softly demanded, “Give me your hands.” Without hesitation, Ruby laid her hands into his. His thumbs gently ran over the soft skin of her bottom wrist, pausing over where her pulse throbbed. He rotated her hands tobe palm up, then spaced them out to where he needed them in order to work his magic. “I need you to hold them like this, can you do that for me, darlin’?”
“I can.” Leaning in to kiss her cheek, he picked up the length of rope. The heat permeating from her cheeks to his lips melted his whole being.
He wrapped the rope around Ruby’s wrists and pulled the two ends through the loop he’d created, repeating it a couple of times before running his fingers over it to make sure everything laid flat. Then he split the two ropes and wrapped them around the middle. Leaving a two-finger width space to each of her wrists, he tied the final knot. He double checked everything, then took her hands in his lap and caressed her palms.
“How does that feel?”
“Good.” He let everything sink in, only sharing soft touches to ease her into the restraints. “A little odd, exciting and terrifying at the same time.”
“What are you excited about?”
He counted each of her breaths, calm with deep inhales. “Trying something new. It actually makes me a little proud to jump over my shadow.”
“You can beveryproud of yourself. Getting out of your comfort zone is never easy and you are doing so well.”
“Why does it make me all giddy when you say things like that?”
“Because you enjoy being praised, and I’m more than happy to shower you in praises, darlin’.” He heard her shuffling around on the sheets before her rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes came into view, planting a kiss to his cheek. Leaving his nerve endings on fire, she disappeared once more. “What about this terrifies you?”
“Not knowing what to do and not being good enough. The thought of giving up control is hard to wrap my head aroundas well. I’ve learned that I’m often on my own—even with Rick I had to fend for myself and speak up even when I had wished that he’d do it.” She sighed, seemingly annoyed. “I’m sorry for bringing him up again.”
“It’s alright. Iwantto hear about these things. It helps me know what you need from me. Would it help you to think of it as not giving up control, only handing it over for a limited amount of time?”
“I didn’t even think of it that way but yes, it does.”
“Sometimes it’s nice to not have to think or make decisions for yourself, and that’s what this is all about. I need to hold the reins for a while, and you need to be able to take the weight off your shoulders and have someone else worry about it.”
“It sounds so much easier than it probably will be.”
“This,” his hands smoothed over the ropes binding hers together, “is a process. It takes time and you are allowed to take everything that you need.”
But when he attempted to loosen the knot, Ruby’s timid words stopped him. “Can we keep it on a little longer?”
“Of course, but please know that you don’t have to prove anything to me.”
“I’m not, it just feels good.”
