Page 100 of Hail Marry
LUCA
Nervous energy fillsme as we make the drive to the house after the bus has returned to the stadium parking lot. I have about an hour at home before I have to head to the hotel for team meetings, our walkthrough, and then dinner. I’m hoping that’s enough time to have a conversation with Tori.
The thought of this conversation terrifies me. What if I’m wrong in my assumptions? What if all those looks, all those kisses today were moments I misinterpreted? They didn’tfeellike they were just for Bennett’s benefit, but I don’t have a great track record for correctly interpreting the way people feel about me.
And if I make things weird with Tori…what then? How will we manage to do the type of things we have to do in this situation with a heavy cloud of awkwardness hanging over us?
I can’t help myself, though. I know when we both signed up for this, it was with divorce as a given, but if there’s any chance at all that Tori’s feeling like I am—dreading that time—Ineedto know.
“I’m really glad we went today,” she says as our car winds through the streets leading to our house.
“Me too,” I say, wishing I knew what exactly makes her feel this way.
“I really wish more of the kids could’ve received a scholarship,” she says, her expression becoming more pensive. “You know that kid Dallin I was working with?”
“Yeah.” He was one of the tough kids that didn’t really get into it. It’s too bad, because he seemed to have real talent.
“I can’t stop thinking about him—how hopeless he was. Not the pathetic type of hopeless where he wants you to feel bad for him. It was so much more heartbreaking than that. Like he just can’t care because the alternative hurts too much.” She sighs. “Anyway, I was really hoping he’d win the raffle. Prove him wrong, you know?”
I nod. I felt similarly—wishing we could’ve given something more than Admirals gear to all the kids and then scholarships to a lucky few. The fact that Tori’s still thinking about it is what I love so much about her. She’s always thinking of other people.
“I wish we had more time with them,” she says as we pull into the garage. “It’s hard to make much of a difference in a few hours.”
“I don’t know,” I say. “That touchdown dance of yours clearly made an impression.”
Her mouth spreads into a grin as she opens the door. “You can use it for your first NFL touchdown if you’d like.”
“Oh, I couldn’t possibly do it justice.”
“True,” she says, her eyes twinkling at me.
We sit there for a few seconds, smiling at each other in the car. My impulse is to kiss her, but not only is she an awkward distance away now that she’s poised to get out of the car, I feel like I should initiate the conversation we need to have before any more kissing happens.
After all, we agreed on the no-kissing rule.
“Should we head inside?” I ask.
She nods and gets out of the car, and my heart starts to race as I follow her. How do I even begin? What do I say?
I set the keys on the counter, and Tori must feel the weird energy I’m giving off because she turns toward me once she gets to the island, setting her hands on the countertop.
“We didn’t finish talking before we got on the bus,” she says, reaching for the napkins in the holder nearby. Her voice is casual, but the way she fidgets with napkins tells me she might not feel that way.
“Yeah, we should probably do that.”
Her eyes dart to me. “Now?”
I shrug like it’s a matter of indifference to me whether we discuss the topic that’s been consuming me for weeks.
She laughs nervously. “I just mean, do you have time?”
I check my wrist, which doesn’t have a watch. I don’t actually remember the last time I wore one.
She smiles and checks her phone. “It’s 1:30.”
“I don’t have much to get together, but I need to head out around 2:30.”
She nods. “Okay, cool.”
